They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Couch. On fire.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
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