Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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