you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
