yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Randomize
