just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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