Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
