We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
