i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
