True but thats because hes a fetus.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
that is very illegal...i love you.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
