stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize
