she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I can't put those talents on a resume
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
