The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
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