I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
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