haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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