I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
