Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
