How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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