What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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