i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
