Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
