Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
