I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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