i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
