More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
