Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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