Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
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