4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
So apparently I’m into choking now
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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