wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
