Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
