so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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