Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
