There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
The uberlube is also flammable
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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