take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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