Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Operation Purity has been aborted
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
