You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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