he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
A bitchslap is in order.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
