im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
