It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Randomize
