Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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