i love accidental penises.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Randomize
