That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
