She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Randomize
