Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
