so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
