I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
