Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
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