We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
