He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
