I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
