Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
