Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
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